Single versus Married

MSN had a feature story on its website titled “10 reasons married people are jealous of singles”. Curious, I checked it out. Here’s the short list:

1. Spontaneity
2. Good sleep
3. Being selfish
4. Traveling solo
5. Thrill of ‘the chase’
6. Not having to ‘check in’
7. Random hookups
8. Shameless flirting
9. Not sharing the remote
10. Meeting new people

Lest you think this is all one-sided, here’s a list of “10 reasons single people are jealous of marrieds” from iVillage:

1. A mate who’s 100% yours
2. Having a family – if you want one
3. Constant support
4. Double income
5. Someone to blame
6. Regular sex
7. Live in handy-man
8. Someone who understands you
9. A date for weddings
10. Commitment

Do with this information what you will. Go to and dig in further if you like.

Here’s a quote: ‘The happiest people in the world are married men and single women’. I don’t know who said it, but from what I have experienced and observed, it’s true.

I recently read Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz’s article “Happily Unmarried” and it describes me perfectly!” Are you single by choice and not by accident? Are you happy? Then maybe you’re happily unmarried too.

I have been married, so it’s not like I don’t know what I’m missing. Since I was a teenager, my #1 goal in life was to find my “soul mate”, get married, have a nice home and maybe a child or two. At 24, I found my Mr. Right. He was 36 and married – but that didn’t matter. His marriage was a nightmare. He would leave his wife and come live with me, his One True Love.

We lived together happily, counting down the 5 years until he could get his divorce. His 16 year old daughter came to live with us when her mother kicked her out, and things went downhill fast. By the 5-year mark, I discovered that Mr. Right was actually Mr. Wrong.

I came close once more, with a handsome, sexy construction worker – a nice change from the 9-to-5 office drones I usually dated – but that didn’t work out either. At 36, I finally got married (can you say ‘desperate’?). It was an unmitigated disaster, the stuff of B movies… but I’ll spare you the details.

So there I was, 40 and newly divorced, when I had my “aha!” moment. I finally realized that no man, and no relationship, was going to ‘complete me’ and make my life perfect. 

I also realized, as I looked back at my life, that I had always been happiest between relationships. Single, unattached, alone, complete. I have a full, rich life that I truly enjoy.

I will admit, though – from the second of the lists above, #4 (double income) and #7 (live-in handyman) are tempting 🙂 

People are single for different reasons. Singlism is not a disease – it’s a lifestyle choice. We who are happily unmarried deserve to be respected and affirmed, as married people are for their choice – politically, economically, socially.

What do you think? If you’re single, celebrate the 10 reasons on the list above – and add your own. Share your story. Encourage others, be encouraged. Enjoy your life!


About verawrites

Progress not perfection - that's my goal. Live and learn - that's my motto. I like to share bits of wisdom and glimmers of insight gleaned on my life journey of 50+ years. My hope is to encourage, perhaps inspire, fellow journeyers. Each of us has something to share. Let's be generous, gracious and compassionate with one another. I am blessed to be a blessing... so are you!
This entry was posted in Balanced living, Creative Living, Emotional health, Happiness, Life Planning, Women Over 40. Bookmark the permalink.

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