Purpose Group Week 6

The wisest man in the Bible tells us that ‘the end of a something is better than the beginning of it’ (Ecclesiastes 7:9).

It’s easy to start something – a novel, a project, a business, a relationship – but sustaining it to its best conclusion can be a challenge. Experience and time teaches us that some things should not be finished. But those that should deserve our best effort. Discerning which is which can be a challenge and, for someone like me, plagued with the ‘paralysis of analysis’, just deciding can be exhausting.

Week 6

The exercises we did before this our final meeting were designed to build upon the previous ones, with a view to focusing outward. How can becoming our best selves, discovering and living our purposes, help us to serve others? How can who we are, what we are passionate about, what we are gifted to do, benefit others?

Where do we serve?

What am I doing now, to build up and bless the body of Christ in my local church? I’m involved in prayer ministry, women’s discipleship, I sing on a praise team that leads worship the first Sunday of every month, I’m a member of a small group that meets weekly, I contribute to our church’s Food Bank.

We were asked to think about and write about anything we felt God was encouraging us to do, areas in which to involved ourselves, ways in which to apply our gifts and talents. My answer to this was to think about our next Women’s Ministry event in November. A small cluster of women at our church has been exposed to many different teachings, churches and experiences. We each have a heart for our sisters to experience more – a richer, deeper connection with Jesus than is available through regular Sunday morning services, or the various activities our church offers.

There are many good things that local churches are doing. Our heart’s desire is to help each woman discover her own unique purpose – not merely to do what needs to be done, or to say ‘yes’ when someone asks her to help with some activity. The good is the enemy of the best.


There is a quote by Howard Thurman in one of the exercises in the Unleash Your Passions: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Outrageous Dreams

We made and shared our Bucket List – a list of 10 where and what things. Mine included a trip to the Holy Land to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, a trip to Costa Rica for the scenery and the coffee, to ride the Orient express, a wine and food tour of the south of France, hot air ballooning somewhere exotic, and a visit to Tiera del Fuego, just to see it.

Expanded Dreams

We then expanded our dreams to encompass every area of our lives: Work, Living Arrangements, Personal Growth, Money, Community, Family, Health & Recreation and God. Andrea asked each of us to choose one area to share. She asked questions, made lists, and helped us to determine what was most important and why, and those elements which were desirable but less vital. It was an eye-opening exercise that really dug beneath the surface of our dreams and why we had them.

Designing Your Life Message

This was another challenging one for me, as I don’t have a clear and concise vision for my life. Taking this course and being part of this purpose group has helped me think about this and clarify some ideas, but I was not ready to make a definite statement.

What did I do? I wrote my obituary. Two versions. The first, what I thought someone might say about me if I died right now. The second, what I wanted someone to say about me when I died someday in the future.

I was hesitant to share this; both obits were kind of long and time was running short. But a lovely young woman sitting next to me, a fellow purpose group member, took the sheet out of my hand and read what I had written. Beautifully, I might add.

I was embarrassed, yes. But I was encouraged when Andrea stated that the obituary that I wanted and hoped could be said of me was, in fact, the way she saw me.

Finishing Up

It was a powerful session – one we enjoyed over a shared pot luck meal. It was our sixth and last meeting, yes, but not the end of the journey, for any of us. We are already planning a reunion in November. And we have each committed to following this purpose journey – wherever it may lead us, being there for each other, knowing Andrea is available to coach us further, and trusting God to take us where He wants us to go.


About verawrites

Progress not perfection - that's my goal. Live and learn - that's my motto. I like to share bits of wisdom and glimmers of insight gleaned on my life journey of 50+ years. My hope is to encourage, perhaps inspire, fellow journeyers. Each of us has something to share. Let's be generous, gracious and compassionate with one another. I am blessed to be a blessing... so are you!
This entry was posted in Balanced living, Emotional health, Living by faith, Relationships - Family, Friends & Other, Women Over 40 and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Purpose Group Week 6

  1. bethbyrnes says:

    So many valuable ideas here, Vera. The idea of coming alive. How many people are half asleep? Having a life purpose. I hope I know mine. Writing the story of our lives and having someone else read it with sensitivity. Lovely. Such a wonderful experience. Thank you for sharing it. It has been inspiring.


    • verawrites says:

      It has been a transformational experience. I had a strong emotional response (anger, sadness, regret) to something that happened when I was 22, and I had no clue this was an issue. My way has always been to suppress, stuff and respond when it inevitably erupts. Through Purpose Group, I learned to embrace the experience and, partnering with God, to allow those things to come up. Like cooking chicken soup – you have to skim the scum as it rises to get a clear broth. I’m continuing to work with Andrea as I work toward fulfilling a longtime dream. Have a lovely weekend, Beth!


      • bethbyrnes says:

        I have experienced some of this in past work in therapy groups, since all psych students have to participate in them. It is amazing how much we suppress from the earliest time in our lives and equally astounding that they are stored somewhere in our psyches and can be brought back up in these kinds of settings. Have a lovely weekend, too, Vera. Mine will be working away. 🙂


      • verawrites says:

        Makes sense. What’s sad is that many people don’t do this, avoid dealing with their issues and, as you point out, they are stored in our psyches and surface in various ways. I witnessed a man in his 80s arguing with his sister in her 60s over something trivial, and I knew the emotional fuel was fired by childhood experiences. (Btw, have you ever seen the movie “Defending Your Life” with Meryl Streep and Albert Brooks? Made in the 1980s or early 90s; a different and humourous take on heaven and the afterlife). Good luck with all your projects Beth!


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